Great lines to read when you have a few minutes to spare

Standing in a COVID line at the grocery store waiting to enter? It’s a familiar scenario these days, so next time you find yourself in this situation, take a few minutes to read these great one-liners curated by the Delevu review team.

“You’re only as good as your last haircut.” – Fran Lebowitz

“Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”– Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.” – Fred Allen

“The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.” – Fred Allen

“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.” – George Bernard Shaw

“We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns

“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.” – George Burns

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron?” – George Carlin

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.” – George Carlin

“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” – George Carlin

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” – George Carlin

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” – George Carlin

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin

“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.” – George Carlin

“To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.” – George W. Bush

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” – Bill Watterson

“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!” – Billy Connolly

“I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.” – Billy Connolly

For content covering a wide range of topics, head over to Delevu today.